A few years ago, I read a quote in Ryan Holiday's Daily Stoic and felt an immediate lightbulb moment:

"All the things which cause complaint or dread are like the taxes of life—things from which, my dear Lucilius, you should never hope for exemption or seek escape." - Seneca

This idea—that there are taxes of life that you should happily pay—resonated deeply.

It sparked my thinking:

What are those taxes of life that we all need to embrace? What are the challenging experiences, pains, struggles, evolutions, and mindset shifts that are a necessary part of living a life of true depth and fulfillment?

The subtle reframe—to view these negatives in a positive light, as a necessary part of my growth and progress—has been tremendously helpful on my journey (and will be on yours).

In today's piece, I'd like to highlight 7 taxes of life you need to pay to live the life you want...

Periods of loneliness are a tax on personal transformation.

When you start living differently and transforming your life, some people won't like it.

You will lose friends. People you thought were there for you will start talking about you. They'll call you crazy. They'll call you lame. They'll stop calling you to hang out.

Personal transformation can be lonely.

But if you endure the short-term friction of a period of loneliness, the reward is meaningful. You’ll start attracting new and vibrant people into your world, ones who are aligned with the energy you’re putting out.

So yes, people will say you've changed...but that's precisely the point!

Stress and anxiety are a tax on extreme ambition.

Those with extreme ambition are the most prone to feelings of stress and anxiety that accompany the non-linearity of progress.

Ambition is a double-edged sword:

A powerful force for good when channeled in a clear direction, but a stress amplifier when the direction and momentum are unclear.

Progress is non-linear—sometimes it happens slowly, then all at once. Like the Chinese bamboo tree, sometimes it takes years to break through the ground, years where you may be completely unaware of the tangible impact of your daily actions. Those periods of perceived stagnation are a painful tax to pay for the ambitious mind.

Pay attention to the hidden signs of growth, stay the course, and focus on direction, not speed.

Boredom of routine is a tax on long-term success.

An observation on the lives of the most successful people I've been around:

They are very, very boring.

We all have this impression that successful people live these glamorous, high-flying, fascinating lives—jumping from event to event, vacation to vacation, gala to gala.

But what you see on the surface masks the reality of what created it underneath...

The reality: Most success is built on the back of long, painful periods of extremely disciplined, boring routines.

If you need novelty to stay interested and motivated, you won't make it very far. To shine in the light, you have to embrace the boredom in the dark.

Hard conversations are a tax on deep relationships.

When you avoid a hard conversation, you're taking on a debt that has to be repaid (with interest) at a date in the future.

Time doesn't heal anything when it comes to relationships. Make the minor repairs along the way and you'll avoid the major repairs later on.

Your success in building deep, loving bonds is proportional to the number of hard conversations you're willing to have.

Imposter syndrome is a tax on progress.

One truth I’ve learned over and over again in my life: Good things happen when you put yourself in rooms and situations where you don’t feel like you belong.

Imposter syndrome will push you to retreat to the safety of your current competencies, to avoid those new opportunities that might vault you to new heights.

But the feeling of discomfort when you start pushing past your preconceived limits is natural—a positive. It's a sign you're taking on things that scare you.

Embrace the Yet Mindset:

• "I'm not good enough" becomes "I'm not good enough...yet."
• "I don't know how to do it" becomes "I don't know how to do it...yet."
• "I'm not capable of that" becomes "I'm not capable of that...yet."

"Yet" becomes your one word reminder that you can achieve anything that you set your mind to. It is the reminder that you are dynamic and capable of so much more than you realize.

Remember: That feeling of uncertainty, fear, and discomfort is usually a sign of growth.

Misunderstanding is a tax on innovation.

In 2009, Elon Musk had lunch with the late Charlie Munger. Munger, who was one of the smartest investors in history, delivered a monologue telling the entire table all of the reasons Tesla would fail.

Musk listened, accepted the reasons as probably correct, but said that it was still worth trying given the impact if it worked.

This story is a reminder that doing things differently will always be met with misunderstanding.

If everyone agrees with you, you're not truly innovating.

True innovation is generally met with misunderstanding and ridicule. Enduring that non-belief is the price of admission for anyone who wants to alter the status quo.

Innovation is about everyone agreeing with you...later.

Pain of loss is a tax on the joy of love.

A lesson I learned from my late grandmother: Don’t fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love.

This is a foundational tension of life. The pain of loss comes in the same package as the joy of love.

If you fear the former, you'll never experience the latter.

The Key to Life

The life you want is on the other side of your ability and willingness to delay gratification—to do hard things, to embrace the suck, to endure painful experiences.

The life you want is on the other side of the taxes you need to pay:

• The periods of loneliness for your transformation
• The stress and anxiety for your ambition
• The boredom for your success
• The hard conversations for your deep relationships
• The imposter syndrome for your progress
• The misunderstanding for your innovation
• The loss for your love

When you embrace delayed gratification, when you embrace hard things, when you embrace these taxes of life, you’ll find your depth and fulfillment on the journey.