Question to avoid people pleasing:

Are you allowing their narrative to impact your life?

My life improved dramatically when I realized that it's not my responsibility to change the narrative that other people have about me.

One of my favorite fables brings this lesson to life:

A man and his son were bringing their donkey to the market.

As they were walking along the path, a man passed them and said: "You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?"

So the man put the boy on the donkey and continued. They passed a group of men, one of whom said: "See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides."

So the man ordered his boy to get off, and got on himself. They passed two women, one of whom said to the other: "Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along."

So the man took his boy up with him on the donkey. People began to jeer: "Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey?"

So the man and boy got off and carried the donkey on their shoulders. As they crossed a bridge, it kicked loose, fell over the side, and drowned.

"That will teach you," said an old man who had followed them:

"Please all, and you will please none."

At every step in your journey, there will be people who feel the need to voice their opinion on your actions and vision:

• They'll say it makes no sense
• They'll laugh that you're on the wrong path
• They'll tell you to be more realistic
• They'll question your every move

But remember the lesson of the fable: If you listen to everyone—if you try to please everyone—you will please no one.

No matter what you do, there's going to be someone who doesn't like it. And that's ok. Stop allowing their narrative to impact your life.

Do you, be yourself, and live according to your values.

Quote on a life well lived:

"It’s not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."- Helen Walton

True happiness is found in the service of others.

Spread joy and you will feel it yourself.

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Framework for your career and life:

The Skyscraper Mentality

My son recently developed an interest in skyscrapers.

As we've spent time reading about them, I've started to appreciate that the building of a skyscraper has a lot of parallels to the building of your life.

I'll call it the Skyscraper Mentality.

The Skyscraper Mentality has two core principles:

1. Deep, Strong Foundation: You cannot build something magnificent on top of a weak, flimsy foundation. Before building up, you have to build down. The most famous skyscrapers have a foundation that extends well over 100 feet below the surface. This investment in the robust foundation is what provides the strength to the entire structure.
2. Adaptability: Skyscrapers are built with a degree of flexibility in the structure, so they are actually able to bend and sway with the wind (often several feet in either direction, like a tree). This adaptability is critical, as a stiff, rigid structure would be prone to snap.

These two principles apply directly to your career and life:

In the early years, you focus on the foundation.

Invest your time to build the knowledge, skills, networks, experience, and money that form a strong, sturdy, stable base. Continue to make the simple daily investments in this foundation throughout your life. Make the necessary minor repairs along the way to ensure that it remains strong for years to come.

As you progress, focus on adaptability.

This means preparation, rather than planning. Planning is based on the expectation of order. Preparation is based on the expectation of chaos. Plan for order and you'll be destroyed by chaos. Prepare for chaos and you'll thrive in any condition. Are the skills, income streams, or businesses you're building useful in a variety of situations and market conditions? How might you prepare to benefit from chaos that inevitably comes?

In the week ahead, think about the Skyscraper Mentality:

Build something strong and adaptable capable of enduring whatever chaos life brings your way.

Sentence that may change your life:

A simple, yet oh so powerful, sentence from Friedrich Nietzsche.

People can love you, people can provide advice, guidance, and support, but in the end, it's all on you. No one can act on your behalf. No one will change your mindsets. No one will fix your problems. No one will hand you the things you want in life.

It's just you. It's all on you. There's a power in that.

Article I really enjoyed:

​40 Thoughts on Turning 40​

This one is filled with absolute gems. My favorites:

• You can reorient your life in a new direction quickly but the underlying rewriting of scripts and rewiring of your nervous system takes much longer than you would ever expect. Note: I wrote about this ​here​.
• I’ve never looked back and regretted being more adventurous with my life. Assuming this is true still now it means I can probably be more adventurous than I feel comfortable with right now too.
• Defining success on your own terms will create tension with those around you who don’t value the same things. It is easier to succeed like those around you but more satisfying to make progress against your own secret mission over the long-term. Note: This is the defining theme of my book. Order it ​here​!

Definitely worth a few minutes of your time this weekend.