The Right Now Test, Lessons from a Late Father, & More
Today at a Glance
- Question: Stop chasing, start allowing
- Quote: The value of moments
- Framework: The Right Now Test
- Article: 7 lessons from a late father
- Product: Beautiful journals
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Question to stop the endless chase:
Do you need to allow the things you want to come to you?
This is a beautiful passage from Man's Search for Meaning:
"Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue."
Whenever I find myself chasing the new "thing" in life, I come back to this passage. It offers an important reminder:
True success is not found in the external world; rather, it flows from the internal world.
When you frame success as an end, as a destination, you create a negative, adversarial relationship with the very thing that you want.
It's a paradox of life: When you're looking really hard for something, you rarely find it, but when you stop looking, the thing you're looking for finds you.
There's a beautiful quote I love from Mario Quintana:
"Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come."
The things you want most in life will come to you, but only when you're ready for them.
Mend your garden and the butterflies will come.
Stop chasing, start allowing.
Quote on the value of moments:
"Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory." - Dr. Seuss
Every single thing you do today is something your 90-year-old self will wish they could go back and do.
The good old days are happening right now.
Framework for saying no more effectively:
The Right Now Test
There is a behavioral phenomenon known as the Yes-Damn Effect that was first proposed by Gal Zauberman of the University of North Carolina and John Lynch of Duke.
It says that we systematically overestimate the amount of free time we will have in the future, so we say yes to future things under the assumption that we will have more time for them, but when that future date arrives, we regret it.
You say, "Yes," and then the future date arrives, and you say, "Damn!"
The Right Now Test is an approach to fight back and say no more effectively:
- When deciding whether to take on a new commitment, ask yourself, "Would I do this right now?" Think of right now as today or tomorrow. The aim is to eliminate the future time distortions observed by psychologists; by pulling the event into the present, you make a more clear, rational decision.
- If the answer is no, say no.
- If the answer is yes, take it on.
Next time you find yourself overcommitted and regretting taking on too much, give the Right Now Test a try.
Saying no is a major life hack, learn to do it more effectively.
This is an excerpt derived from the Time Wealth section of my upcoming book, The 5 Types of Wealth. Each section ends with a guide filled with proven systems for building that type of wealth into your life. This excerpt is one of ~50 actionable systems in the book. You can have it in your hands in 10 days.
Order The 5 Types of Wealth Now!
Beautiful tribute to a late father:
If you want to live a quiet life, live a quiet life.
This was a beautiful tribute from Susan Cain, one of my favorite authors (and humans!), to her late father.
She shared 7 pieces of timeless wisdom learned from her father through the actions and values he embodied in his life.
This one punched me straight in the gut:
If you’re a husband, take care of your wife, even when she has Alzheimer’s and can’t walk and asks you the same question again and again and again and again and again and again…
This reminded me of an important point: Our children learn by absorbing what they see. We do not need to teach, we just need to embody the things we want them to learn.
Short, powerful, poetic, and worth a few minutes of your time.
New journals I'm obsessed with:
I just got these journals from a small company called Daly Goods and I'm officially obsessed. I have zero affiliation with the company, just a genuine fan of the handcrafted beauty of these things.
I reached out to the company's founder and he shared their three core values:
- Quality: American handmade products matched with unreasonable customer service.
- Meaningful Jobs: They currently only employ moms who want to both be a mom and have flexible, craft-based work.
- Generosity: The founder caps his income and gives away everything else. His ambitious goal is to give away $100M over the next few decades.
Now I'm even more obsessed. Beautiful products, with a real purpose!
Check them out and get yours here.
