The Promises You Make to Yourself
Today at a Glance
- John Wooden was the legendary UCLA men's basketball coach who led the team to 10 national championships over a 12 year period. He is most well known for his life wisdom that extended well beyond the court.
- Keeping the promises you make to yourself is the highest order purpose in life. Every single time you keep that promise, you are stacking evidence in favor of the type of person that you want to become.
- This piece explores John Wooden's 9 Promises for a Life Well-Lived.
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John Wooden was the legendary head coach for the UCLA Bruins men's basketball team from 1948 to 1975. At one point during that period, Wooden led the team to a historic 10 national championships over a 12 year span.
Perhaps most interestingly, Wooden's legacy has far more to do with principles for life than anything about basketball.
He was, simply put, a treasure trove of wisdom.
In today's piece, I'd like to explore one idea I love from that treasure trove: John Wooden's 9 Promises for a Life Well-Lived.
He believed that the promises you make to yourself must represent ironclad contracts—things that you will follow through on, deliver on, and live out on a daily basis.
These 9 promises create the foundation for happiness and success...
9 Promises for a Life Well-Lived
1. I promise to talk health, happiness, and prosperity as often as possible.
Your thoughts and language shape your reality. Choose them wisely.
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/66915d91469ad34b8324ab88/669fd5cea958d4dfb67545bf_fpq64P3SDzn1qBM6aowCW9.jpeg)
2. I promise to make all my friends know there is something in them that is special and that I value.
Unexpressed Love is love you feel that you haven’t expressed to those you feel it for. One of my fears is dying with too much of it. When you think something nice about someone, tell them.
It's a shame that we wait until a person's funeral to say all of the nice things we thought about them. Let's change that.
Every single day, reach out to one person and tell them something you love, appreciate, or respect about them.
3. I promise to think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best in myself and others.
There is scientific evidence to prove that expectations can create reality.
The Pygmalion Effect is a behavioral phenomenon in which the level of expectations placed on a subject impact their level of performance:
- High expectations lead to high performance.
- Low expectations lead to low performance.
Those who have high expectations are more likely to internalize these expectations and improve their performance accordingly. Those who have low expectations are more likely to internalize these expectations and weaken their performance accordingly.
Establish excellence as your expectation and you will build that reality.
4. I promise to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
Want to get ahead in life? Start genuinely rooting for others to succeed. Adopt a positive sum mentality—when one of us wins, we all win.
This will make you a magnet for the highest quality people.
And relatedly, be diligent in removing the people from your life who don't cheer for your victories:
“Pay close attention to people who don’t clap when you win.” - Leonardo DiCaprio
5. I promise to be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
There’s a beautiful quote I love:
“Don’t waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come.” - Mario Quintana
Something I’ve come to believe: The things you want most in life will come to you, but only when you’re ready for them.
Mend your internal garden and the butterflies will come.
6. I promise to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the future.
We tend to romanticize the road not taken: The decisions we could have made differently, paths we could have walked, people we could have treated differently.
Ultimately, dwelling on the past is a recipe for unhappiness and stagnation.
Consider this perfect visualization from my friend Tim Urban:
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/66915d91469ad34b8324ab88/669fd5ce39bf31dcaec49abe_vzSzpYETjpTZgvzsn9xbwx.jpeg)
If you spend too much time focusing on "what ifs" behind you (black), you'll lose sight of the immense density of opportunity before you (green).
7. I promise to wear a cheerful appearance at all times and give every person I meet a smile.
When you open up to the world, the world will open up to you.
Be interested in everyone you encounter. Every conversation with a stranger is a chance to learn something new. Stop trying to be interesting and focus on being interested.
Be present in every conversation with everyone you meet. You never know what you might learn.
"There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven't yet met." - William Butler Yeats
8. I promise to give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
Your entire life will change the moment you stop worrying about what others are doing and start focusing on what you’re doing.
The time you spend comparing yourself to others is much better spent investing in yourself. The only comparison worth making is to you from yesterday.
9. I promise to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit trouble to press on me.
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances." - Viktor Frankl
None of these promises are easy, but our power exists in our ability to choose:
- Our own attitude
- Our own way
- Our own response
When we embrace that power, nothing can touch us.
![](https://cdn.prod.website-files.com/66915d91469ad34b8324ab88/669fd5ce003312825aaf1dc0_rYBDidBcRWSdg6PkvyCD1c.jpeg)
Your Promises to Yourself
Keeping the promises you make to yourself is the highest order purpose in life.
Every single time you keep that promise, you are stacking evidence in favor of the type of person that you want to become.
No matter where you are in life, if you can make a promise to yourself, and then keep it, you are a winner.
So, what would be on your list?
What promises do you want to make to yourself?
Use John Wooden's list as a spark, but create your own. Write them out and look at them at the start of every day.
If you can keep your promises to yourself, you can achieve anything.