One Question:

What are the elements of your ideal life at 80-years-old?

A few months ago, I sat down with a piece of paper and imagined my ideal life at 80-years old.

Here was what I came up with:

• Healthy mind and body
• Relaxing on a sunny porch
• Smiling wife at my side
• Children chatting with us
• Grandchildren playing in yard
• Friends walking over for a big dinner

Beginning with this ideal future end in mind allows you to reverse engineer what is important to focus on in the present.

Most notably, it made me see that my true, personal definition of a successful life had very little to do with money (there are no yachts, private jets, or mansions in my definition above!).

Some features are enabled by money (the porch and the yard), but most of them are earned through consistent behaviors and actions.

Want a smiling wife at your side at 80? Be a loving husband daily.

Want kids who choose to be around you? Be a supportive and caring parent daily.

Want a healthy body and mind in old age? Flex your body and mind daily.

Want good friends who you share laughs with? Be a good friend to those you care about daily.

I'd encourage you to try the exercise. Sit down and envision your ideal life at 80-years-old.

What does it tell you about what you need to focus on in the present?​

Quote on real friends:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey

Your real friends are there for you when you have *nothing* to offer in return.

Cherish them.

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Framework to redefine success:

Self-Handicapping (& How to Fight Back)

We've all been there...

You have a big, ambitious goal you're driving towards, but you start to feel a creeping sense of doubt about whether you can achieve it. You worry about failing to achieve the goal, so you start thinking, speaking, and acting in ways that subtly cut into your odds of success.

You shrink yourself down to avoid a hard fall.

Self-Handicapping is a psychological protection strategy that people use to insulate their self-esteem from the damage of potential failure.

When someone engages in Self-Handicapping, they engage in actions or behaviors that actually undermine their chance at success in an effort to provide themselves with a built-in excuse if failure occurs.

Self-Handicapping is an emotional and psychological shield we all put up—one that is particularly prevalent among highly ambitious people who set high bars for success.

I believe there is a simple root cause:

We live in a culture that endlessly promotes and celebrates the achievement of the extraordinary. As such, we conflate success with the achievement of the extraordinary.

When we convince ourselves that success is only defined by the monster achievement, we create a perfect storm for Self-Handicapping.

To fight back, start embracing the beauty of tiny wins. Find purpose, joy, and fulfillment in the small—in the process, not the prize.

Your success is not determined by your achievement of the extraordinary, but by your ability to show up, day-in, day-out, and lay one new brick in your life's wall.

Tweet on rejecting arbitrary timelines:

The timelines we create for ourselves are mostly just arbitrary nonsense.

There are no fixed timelines on which you need to achieve something, you get to create your own.

Great thread to remind yourself of that fact...​

Article with great tips for life:

​100 Tips for a Better Life​

I found this piece on Read Something Wonderful, which is a lovely compilation of timeless essays and blogs.

A few of my favorites from this list of 100 tips:

• History remembers those who got to market first. Getting your creation out into the world is more important than getting it perfect.
• If you want to find out about people’s opinions on a product, google <product> reddit. You’ll get real people arguing, as compared to the SEO’d Google results.
• Things you use for a significant fraction of your life (bed: 1/3rd, office-chair: 1/4th) are worth investing in.
• When googling a recipe, precede it with ‘best’. You’ll find better recipes.

Long list, so I'd recommend reading it in a few sittings to make sure you action on a few!