My wife and I celebrated our 7th anniversary on December 17th.

As I brainstormed ideas for something unique that I could create for us for the occasion, I kept coming back to the most fundamental reality: Time.

We have been married for seven years, but it's clear to me that the passage of time has accelerated since the birth of our son in May 2022. The last 18 months have simply flown by. As I so often repeat, the days are long but the years are short.

So to create something unique and memorable for this year's anniversary, I decided I would explore a bit of the relationship wisdom that time provides.

To do so, I asked couples who have been married 40, 50, or 60+ years a simple question:

What relationship advice would you give to your younger selves?

The participants ranged from a mid-60s couple who had just celebrated their 40th anniversary to a 99-year-old who had just celebrated 66 years of happiness with his bride.

In total, the advice captured 500+ years of earned wisdom from these beautiful relationships.

Here's the relationship advice everyone needs to hear...

1. Tell your partner you love them every night before falling asleep.

Someday you’ll find the other side of the bed empty and wish you could.

2. Never keep score in love.

Scoreboards are for sports games, not marriages.

3. Laugh until you cry.

Laughing together goes a long way to smooth the inevitable bumps in the road.

4. Never stop dating.

I'm 99 and still courting my wife! Marriages don't get boring, you stop trying.

5. Do one act of service for your partner every day, but never tell them about it.

Take out the trash, refill the soap dispenser, put away the toys. Tiny acts of love and respect add up over time.

6. Time doesn't heal when it comes to relationships.

Don't delay difficult conversations.

7. Don’t fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love.

This is part of the fundamental balance and tension of life. The joy of love comes in the same package as the pain of loss.

8. No one has ever argued their way to a happy marriage.

When facing a challenge, face it together.

9. It can't always be 50/50.

Sometimes it will be 90/10, sometimes it will be 10/90. All that matters is that it adds up to 100.

10. Maintain interests and passions separate from your partner's.

Marriage should not be the end of individuality.

11. When in doubt, love.

We can always use more love.

12. If your relationship has a minor issue, repair it.

Minor issues become major issues over time. Furthermore, most minor issues that persist or repeat are a result of a more fundamental issue with the foundation. Address those swiftly, as they won't repair themselves.

13. Never raise your voice with your partner.

Nothing good has ever come from shouting.

14. Every relationship is a work in progress.

The mutual desire for improvement is what builds a lifelong bond.

15. You cannot take care of your partner if you aren't taking care of yourself.

Make a list of your daily needs to feel good. Make sure you and your partner are able to accomplish that list.

16. Is it more important to be right or to be married?

Stubborn pride is the downfall of relationships.

17. Always be quick to say "I'm sorry."

If you are struggling to apologize, go for a short walk, breathe, and try again. It's (almost) always worth it.

18. Don't sweat small stuff.

If there's something bothering you, ask whether it will matter in one month. If not, let it go right now.

19. Start every day with a hug or a kiss.

It's a simple reminder of your love that goes a long way.

Fun Fact: I had to edit this piece of advice from 90-year-old Carl, married for 65 years, to make it more safe for work. His original advice was: “Start every day with a kiss (and more).” Go get ‘em, Carl!

20. Take pride in building a family with strong values.

Create ripples that last.

21. Marriage should always take priority over your birth family.

Remember that when the two feel in conflict.

22. Never involve a non-professional 3rd party (parents, friends, siblings, coworkers) in disagreements.

You'll forget about it, but they won't.

23. Keep doing the little things.

A note under the pillow, a surprise bouquet, a peck on the cheek. Romance never goes out of style.

24. Love is a muscle.

Know that your love will be tested, but that each test has the potential to leave it stronger.

25. Complementarity is just as important as compatibility.

Allow each other the space to lead within different domains in your relationship.

26. Your love is yours.

Forget the approval of others. You won't be able to make everyone happy. Accept that and embrace each other.

27. It doesn’t have to be perfect for it to be wonderful.

There has never been a perfect relationship, but there have been many wonderful ones.

All You Need Is Love

My favorite piece of advice:

When in doubt, love. We can always use more love.

This project was a joy to create. I feel very lucky to have been able to share their wisdom.

Here are a few photos of some of the couples (shared with their permission). They are amazing.

And to my wonderful wife...

Thank you for taking me on this beautiful, wild adventure with you. I love you!