Question to establish boundaries:

Do you want to be liked or loved?

I spent the first 30 years of my life wanting to be liked:

• I said yes to everything.
• I avoided hard conversations.
• I never established boundaries.
• I let things slide.

I was easy. Then one day, I realized that the hidden cost of wanting to be liked was far too high. I may have been liked, but at what cost to the rest of my life?

The painful truth is that a lot of people will like you when you're easy, when you say yes to them (and no to yourself), when you let everything slide.

But your real ones will love you when you do the opposite of those things:

• When you say no.
• When you embrace boundaries.
• When you have the hard conversation.
• When you stand up for yourself.

The goal is to be loved, not liked.

Remember that.

Quote on the need to zoom out:

"One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done." - Marie Curie

The ambitious mind will always lose sight of progress in the moment.

Zoom out and reclaim that perspective.

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Framework to embrace the chaos:

Amor Fati

Amor Fati translates to love of fate.

It is the idea and practice of embracing everything that life throws at you—the good and the bad, the calm and the chaos.

The idea finds its origins in Stoic philosophy, with ancient philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius consistently emphasizing the acceptance and embrace of uncontrollable reality.

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed this embrace was central to unleashing our own personal greatness, writing, "That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it….but love it."

The importance of this idea is difficult to overstate:

Life is unpredictable.

If you need to feel in constant control, if you need everything to go according to plan, you're in for a long, hard life.

Amor Fati is a call to accept the uncontrollable, to embrace it, to love it. It's a reminder that adaptability is always more important than planning.

Each storm, with the chaos and uncertainty it brings, is an opportunity to grow and thrive.

Detach from your desire for control over the outcomes and center instead on your power to control your mindset. Celebrate each moment as unique and necessary. Stop fighting and start engaging.

Amor Fati.

Story on the weakness of complaint:

I recently came across this simple story:

The villagers had been coming to the local wise man every week, many complaining about the same problems each time.

One day he told them a joke and everyone roared in laughter. After a couple of minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled. When he told the same joke for the third time, no one laughed.

The wise man smiled and said, "You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always complaining about the same problem?"

The lesson: Don’t complain about anything.

If it’s within your control, go do something about it. If it’s not, complaining is just a waste of energy.

When you complain, you’re giving too much power to the thing. Take back that power.

Idea on the three stages of life:

Last week, I had a conversation with entrepreneur and investor ​Chris Vasquez​, who shared an interesting idea related to professional progression.

He believes that there are three stages of your professional arc:

1. Get Fed: You receive opportunities to execute on.
2. Feed Yourself: You create and execute on opportunities for yourself.
3. Feed Others: You create opportunities for others to execute on.

Early in your professional career, you rely on others to give you the opportunities. You don't know what they look like yet, and you certainly don't know how to create them, so this is a necessary first step in building your foundation.

As you progress, you are able to create the opportunities for yourself. You've developed an understanding of "the game" and are able to see the patterns that allow you to win.

In the final stage, your focus shifts to creating opportunities for others. You get the most leverage by feeding others with these opportunities, rather than trying to execute on all of them yourself, which would be impossible given the sheer number that come to you at this level of mastery.

I believe the same holds true for your life outside of work:

1. You learn the game.
2. You master the game.
3. You coach the game.

The third step is important, because not only does it provide leverage, but also the lasting fulfillment and happiness derived from acting in the service of others.

Get fed. Feed yourself. Feed others.

Learn the game. Master the game. Coach the game.