Over the last few years, I've had the unique pleasure of building a friendship with ​Arthur C. Brooks​, the world's leading expert on happiness science.

Arthur is a professor at Harvard Business School, where he teaches an uber-popular course on happiness, and the author of multiple #1 New York Times best selling books.

Most importantly, he is a dedicated husband, father, and grandfather, and a loving and loyal friend.

As I was writing my book, I asked Arthur to collaborate with me on collecting a list of some of our best ideas for living a happy, healthy, wealthy life.

Here are 22 happiness hacks we wish we knew at 22...

Note: This collaboration is an excerpt derived from my upcoming book, The 5 Types of Wealth. Each section ends with a guide filled with proven systems for building that type of wealth into your life. This collaboration is one of ~50 actionable systems in the book. You can have it in your hands in two weeks.

Order The 5 Types of Wealth Now!

1. Happiness is not a destination but a direction.

How you travel and whom you travel with is what really counts.

2. It’s a bad trade to be special rather than happy.

That’s what people are doing when they choose the fourteenth hour of work before the first hour with their children. Remember that.

3. Record a video interview with your parents.

Ask them questions and have them tell stories about their childhoods, adventures, hopes, dreams, and fears. Our time with them is finite, but we often fail to recognize that until it’s too late.

4. Say exactly what you mean.

Here's a truth we all need to embrace for healthier relationships: No one can read your mind.

5. Tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them daily.

This is the single most important piece of relationship advice I have ever received. Lack of appreciation is where loving relationships go to die. Vocalize appreciation daily and watch your relationship flourish across the seasons of your life.

6. Approach disagreements with your partner not as a “me” but as a “we.”

"Me" creates an adversarial dynamic. "We" creates a collaborative one. If you view disagreements as an opportunity to collaborate to address the shared problem, you will find more success and harmony.

7. When it comes to love, expand your time horizon.

A question I often ask myself: How would I show up in this relationship if I knew I was going to be around this person for the next 50 years? It strips away any short-term tendencies and reminds you that an investment in your relationships compounds just as well as any financial investment.

8. In your 20s and 30s, do a few things that you’ll be excited to tell your kids about someday.

Identity capital is the base of experiences and traits that make us unique. When you're young, seek to build identity capital—pursue interesting experiences as much as you can. As you grow, leverage your identity capital to accelerate your career and life.

9. Don’t treat your family like emotional ATMs.

When people treat their family as a one-­way valve of help and advice, relationships suffer. Relationships have to be a two-way street.

10. When someone is going through hell, saying, “I’m with you,” is the most powerful thing you can do.

Advice, perspectives, or offers to help are minimally impactful. The notion that someone is with you is 10x more powerful. Be the “Darkest Hour Friend” to those you love.

11. Don’t focus on looks and status in others.

Good teeth and a high-­paying job don’t predict faithfulness and kindness. Seek out real, tangible evidence of the traits you want to find in others.

12. True entrepreneurs risk their hearts by falling in love.

A piece of wisdom from my late grandmother: Never fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love. The best things in life dance on a razor's edge. You can't have the joy of the good without exposing yourself to the pain of the bad. That's the beauty of life.

13. Put on your oxygen mask first.

Work on your happiness before trying to help others. Forgoing your own joy for the sake of another person might seem like the more virtuous path, but that is a lose-­lose strategy.

14. When you think something nice about someone, let them know.

It’s a shame that we often wait until a person’s funeral to say all of the nice things we thought about them. The next time you have a positive thought about someone—tell them right then. Give them their flowers while they can still enjoy them.

15. If you’re about to take an emotion-­induced action, wait 24 hours.

Many relationships have been broken by actions taken in the heat of the moment. Don’t fall into that trap.

16. Stop trying to be interesting and focus on being interested.

Interested people give their deep attention to something to learn more about it. They open up to the world; they ask great questions and observe. Being interested is how you become interesting.

17. Treat fighting like exercise.

It will be painful, sure, but you shouldn’t be unhappy about doing it regularly, because it makes you stronger—­especially if you do it in a spirit of growth, not contempt.

18. Happy people love people, use things, and worship the divine; unhappy people use people, love things, and worship themselves.

The common thread: Happiness is found in a focus on something bigger than the self.

19. People who disagree on politics can still enjoy close relationships.

An important mantra for our modern era, with polarization at an all-time high. Always remember that we share more in common than we think.

20. If you’re torn on what gift to send someone, send a book you love.

Include a handwritten note on why you're sending it to them, the more specific, the better. It shows a level of care that is likely to spark deeper connection.

21. If you have too many deal friends, you won’t have enough real friends.

Networking is dead, at least in the traditional sense of the word. The world will not reward you for how many business cards you can hand out or collect. Real relationships are built through honesty, vulnerability, and shared struggle. Stop networking, start building.

22. Never keep score in life.

When you’re with friends, pick up the check now and ­then—it all evens out if they’re real friends. Quid pro quo is a terrible way to live.

Happiness is About Direction, Not Speed

As the first item from the list says, happiness is a direction, not a destination.

This idea reminded me of a beautiful gift my parents gave me during a time in my life when I was feeling lost.

It was a small silver compass with a simple inscription:

"So you may always know where your true north lies."

In life, always focus on direction, not speed.

It's better to climb slowly up the right mountain than fast up the wrong one.